Faith and Fate
by EdwardsXSecretXLover
Summary: "I discovered that maybe it was fate all along, that faith was just an illusion that somehow you're in control."  Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club, pg 128


**Faith and Fate - Jacob/Edward**

"I discovered that maybe it was fate all along, that faith was just an illusion that somehow you're in control." -Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club, pg 128.

:-o-:. JACOB .:-o-:.

I'd always believed that I was in control; that I'd never have to face anything that I could change or decide what would happen in my life, or what I would do. But apparently, life doesn't work that , there's this little thing called 'fate' and it just loves to screw with people's lives and first thing that clued me into it was when my entire life started to fall apart. First there was when those stupid werewolf genes decided to make their appearance in me. That was when my life began to spiral out of control, and I no longer had any faith in myself or that I could choose what would happen to me. Everything had changed right there in that moment.I'd thought I'd chosen her; that it was her smell that called to me so, that it wasn't that sickly sweet scent that always seemed to cling to her, even when she hadn't been in contact with any bloodsuckers for weeks. It had puzzled me at first, but I'd dismissed it; dismissed it as nothing more than the over-powering smell of her shampoo or soap. I never thought it was this. And I didn't want to believe it , I loved her, cared for her. But it seemed that fate had a different path for me than what I wanted; what I'd sworn I'd wanted and had so much faith in coming true. It was all an illusion then that I could make my own choices purely based on what I thought I wanted.I didn't want to tell her; tell anyone about it. But I knew, and they knew. They knew because it was always there, hovering in the back of my mind. And they could see it, every time I phased, they could see it as clearly as if it was blazing on a billboard. They started avoiding me, making excuses about why they couldn't go on patrol with me, go anywhere with me; and that hurt. It hurt a lot, much more than I cared to admit.

Even so, they could see that I didn't want this, that I hadn't asked for it; but yet they still treated me like I was infected, and whatever it was could be spread easily.I didn't choose this! I didn't choose to imprint on a damn leech! Of course, hating this wasn't going to do a thing about it, and it wasn't about to go away either. I'd seen what imprinting was like with the others, and I knew that I couldn't go about denying it for long; it's just too powerful a thing to ignore. Eventually I'd have to face it, and it would have to be soon. And fate gave me another helping hand; it sent me the little pixie of that coven.I am pretty sure that Bella said her name was 'd come to speak to me, staying at the border dictated by the treaty. It was Leah who found her, and Leah who delivered the message. And Leah being Leah; did in a way where she could be justified in fighting me; by trying to provoke me."Leech-lover," she called. "Your imprint's little bloodsucking sister is sitting on the treaty line waiting for you. Says she wants to talk."I glared at her, trying to keep my anger under control. She and Sam were the two who were most bitter about the entire situation. Billy had been trying his best to reassure me; talking to me about old legends. Apparently this wasn't the first time that something like this had happened, but it was the first time that it had in recent wasn't a long walk to the treaty line, but I took my sweet time with it. I didn't want the others knowing my thoughts, knowing how I felt about the entire thing. As my feet carried me closer and closer, my feelings on the matter were slowly becoming more and more clear. Now I wasn't as disgusted with it as I had been at first; it was slowly becoming easier to accept.

She sat on the hood of her car, her short black hair being gently buffeted by the light breeze. Her head whipped around the moment I stepped out of the cover of the trees; there was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes and a tiny smile on her lips."You must be Jacob." Her voice was light, with a bell-like quality; designed to lure humans in. She cocked her head to the side a little, inhaling deeply, "You know, up close your smell isn't really all that bad. Well, not as bad as the others.""What do you want?" I asked gruffly, ignoring the carefully veiled insult."I came to talk." She leaned back a little, crossing her arms. "As I'm sure Bella has told you, some of us have special gifts. And while mine may not work on your kind, Jasper's and Edward's certainly do."I half turned from her, mortification sinking in. He knew! Oh gods he knew! She watched me, continuing with her explanation."Jasper can sense your... confusion and anger; I believe that's what he said," she frowned contemplatively. "And I think that he might have mentioned disgust at yourself in there as well; and he says it's strongest when you are in our vicinity, which leads me to believe that you've imprinted on one of us. Do you mind telling who?"I would've liked to snap back at her that it was a lie; that even if it was true that it wasn't any of her business. But my mouth betrayed my brain, acting before I had to chance to think out the consequences of it, "... Edward."For a brief moment, before the truth of the matter sank in, her face remained the same; but then, it suddenly changed. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. I turned away in shame."Oh... now I see. This is why you've been avoiding Bella... and this is why you won't come to her wedding."

"... One of the reasons, yes." "I don't know that much about werewolf imprinting, would you tell me some more about it? There may be a way out of this..." "There's not," I answered, not being able to help the bitterness that slipped into my tone as I spoke. "Imprinting is permanent, it won't go away until I die; and that's not likely to be happening any time soon. I can't go, won't go, because I can't stand to watch Bella marry someone who is going to kill her; and the fact that I can't watch her marry him." "So there's no way out of this," she seemed to sink into deep thought. It was only now that I realized that when they didn't move, they looked so much like stone; her head snapped up again, "You'll have to talk to Bella about this." "No!" "Yes Jacob, you will. You've said there's no getting out of this, and I'm pretty sure that just because Edward is getting married isn't going to do anything to this imprint; from what I've gathered, a werewolf imprints on their soul mate." I'd always thought that Bella and I were soul mates, and maybe we were. Yeah, in a world where vampires and werewolves didn't exist, I'm pretty sure it would have been us walking down the aisle, and not her and the leech. But... even I couldn't deny that there was an attraction there, underlying whatever the hell it was that I felt for him."One more question, what does Bella smell like to you?" That was a surprise, "Why-?""Answer the question."

"Well, there's always this sickly sweet smell that always seems to linger around her; but it's probably from hanging around you leeches all the time." I took a moment to think a little more on the matter before continuing. "But then... there's this other smell, exotic almost; I can't place exactly what it is, only that it's like spices. As I said, something exotic, it's what draws me to her."Alice frowned, and I shocked myself. Since when did I refer to the bloodsuckers by name? A treacherous little voice within my head murmured to me, You've accepted that fact that you've imprinted on him, on Edward. I tried to deny it; to come up with something, anything that would allow me to deny it. But there was nothing, only had I imprinted on a leech... I had accepted it.I'd taken the final step. The final pieces of my betrayal were slowly falling into place; that was what they saw it as, a betrayal. I was betraying my ... it didn't feel like I was. I'd seen what imprinting was like with Quil, Jared, and Sam; seen it as though it had been myself that had been going through them; experiencing them. Now however... it seemed more like it was different, unique, for each of us. This was my experience alone, and I would have to deal with it."I'll talk to Bella about it; but I think she'd rather hear it from you. In fact, I know she would. As for Edward... I'll try to prepare him as best I can. But Jacob," I looked up at her now, "There's only so much I can do; you're going to have to deal with this yourself.""I... I know." And it was true; I gave me a tiny smile before climbing back into her car and driving off. I sighed. Bella wasn't going to take this well.

.:-o-:.

"So what did you want to talk about Jake? You sounded pretty down on the phone," she flipped her long brown over her shoulder; and I now realized that it wasn't her smell that was so exotic, it was his smell, clinging to her. "Alice said she came to talk to you, you're not upset about that I hope.""Bells, you see... it's kind of... complicated..." How should I begin? You just don't go telling your best friend and crush that you've imprinted on their vampire boyfriend. Especially when you're supposed to be worst enemies. "I... imprinted... on someone."She stared at me for a little, then with a small smile, "Alright, so who did you imprint on? Leah? Angela? Tell me it's not Jessica or Lauren." I grimaced and shook my head."No Bells... I didn't imprint on... a girl."Her eyes widened for a moment, "You mean you... imprinted on another GUY? Is that even possible?"I nodded, "It is... I've been talking to Billy a lot. While my imprinting on the same sex is normal... it's just who I've imprinted on that is... not.""So who? Another werewolf? Sam?" I shook my head."Not a werewolf Bells... someone... someone closer to you."Her eyebrows furrowed, then, "Not Charlie; you would have said something before this. You don't mean, one of the Cullens?"I swallowed and nodded weakly. Here it was, time for my big secret to come out. Bells looked so surprised, maybe even a little horrified?"But they've... all found they're mates! How could you imprint on one of them? And just who did you imprint on? Jasper? Emmet? Carlisle?" She avoided saying it; saying Edward's name. I knew that it would shatter her world once she knew the truth.

"No... not one of them." I'd preferred it if I had; it would've probably been easier to deal , the horror dawned on her face, "No... you didn't... you can't have..." The tears were welling up now, and she screamed, "YOU CAN'T HAVE IMPRINTED ON EDWARD, YOU JUST CAN'T!" "Bella please calm down! Please!" I saw the lead pipe too late. The lead pipe that had been conveniently sitting up against the wall. I didn't have time to raise my arm to defend myself as the pipe connected with my left cheek, then my side. I felt things crack sickeningly; and then all I knew was blackness.

.:-o-:. EDWARD .

suddenly this... sickening pain in my side and face. I didn't know where it had come from, and it had occurred instantaneously. I was... confused; yes confused, for the briefest moment, and then, everything came to me. Like a movie played from odd hitting Jacob with an old, heavy 's ribs breaking with loud blood that trickled out of his mouth as she dropped the pipe before why was I seeing this? Alice was nowhere to be seen; and she can't see the wolves, so it didn't make any sense. He was my mortal enemy, as nature dictated. So then why was this coming to me? Why was I seeing it?A conversation floated to mind. Well, it wasn't really a conversation, it was really just something that Bella had mentioned in passing."... they imprint. I thought it was an odd thing at first; but they all seemed so happy together, so I don't think it could really be such a bad thing."Where that had come from, I wasn't sure. All I knew at this point was there was this burning feeling within my chest; a searing command that told me to go. Go and be there for it was powerful. Werewolf imprinting was a powerful thing, and I wondered (before I lost all rational thought) if I had fallen victim to it. My legs tensed and I sprang off into the forest without another thought.

.:-o-:. SETH .

There was some blood, not a lot, but it was terrifying to see where it was coming was coming from Jacob's horrifying as it was, I found that I couldn't turn my face away from it; I couldn't bring myself to look away. It took me several moments for the smell to register within my was Isabella's Swan's.I recoiled at the same time that the others did. How could Isabella, I mean Bella, do this to Jacob? She loved him, not the way he wanted, but she still did. But then... I remembered the thoughts that had always been in the back of Jacob's mind, and how religiously the others ignored 'd imprinted on one of the to be 's when everything fell into place in my had beat Jacob because she'd found out he'd imprinted on Edward, her boyfriend and now fiancé. I felt the anger rise within me, threatening to grow out of control; at the thought of her doing this because of something that he couldn't help.I felt... all gathered around Jacob, but none of us were doctor's; we didn't know what to do. Sam took charge, and I could tell there was anger floating within him; within all of us. Jacob would have justice for this. He sent Embry and Leah to fetch Carlisle, and then told Jared to try and find Bella, before sending Quil to tell Billy what had happened. I sat down near I did now was others called me foolish; I didn't like vampires, none of us did. But I didn't think they were all bad either. I like to think of them like humans; they have the ability to be good or bad, it's a choice. The Cullens had chosen to try and be good, well as good as vampires can be; and they'd never harmed any of us, so I really didn't see why we had to be so angry and hateful of pack brothers, and sister, said I was delusional and stupid. That what I thought was mere childish innocence and naiveté. I believed in a higher power; I believed that fate was trying to tell us us that we didn't have to be we didn't have to there was a way for us to live together I felt that this was one thing I wasn't being naïve about; that this was fate. We were just fooling ourselves if we believed that we had control of everything. Our ability to imprint should have taught us was what we had to accept.

.:-o-:. CARLISLE .

Werewolves rushing up the steps of my house were my second indication that something was terrible had happened. The first had been the loud crash followed swiftly by the sound of glass shattering; and rushing to the source of the noise only to find Edward gone, his window and Embry were breathing heavily when they phased back; almost completely naked. I ignored that fact, and instead focused on the nearly incoherent mess of their voices as they tried to explain what had happened. It took only had attacked had imprinted on had rushed off after one of phased back, and we raced to where a battered Jacob lay. I was not the first vampire to arrive, however. Edward had had a head hovered at the trees, almost as if he was hesitant to come any closer. I'd never seen werewolf imprinting go this deep; but this race just seems to continue to amaze me. They defy nature in a way that seems only to be dictated by fate. And I wondered... I wondered as I knelt down beside the broken young werewolf; does he have any choice at all? Any faith that he can change what has befallen him?Edward stalked a little closer, I might have waved him off, but somehow I knew that might not be a smart idea. The way he was acting... it was just like a cornered animal; a cornered animal whose mate was in danger; it was just not a very intelligent notion.I waved Sam and the youngest werewolf off; although I could tell that the little one really wanted to help and do whatever he could. He seems to be the only one who didn't care that there were two vampires present. Leah and Embry growl at Edward; who growls was going against his nature, against the nature of our two species, out of a simple primal connection. This was more then him being just casually worried; this was something more, something more powerful than that. Destiny, providence, whatever you would like to call this; this is what it cold fingers pressed gently against Jacob's side, he coughed violently, bringing up more blood. It was looking worse by the second. Whatever had been used to strike him had broken several ribs, which had punctured his lung. Even with their ability to heal incredibly fast, there was an extremely high possibility that Jacob wouldn't make it through this.I had to help was I who held his fate in my hands."I need to get him to the hospital... NOW."Edward stepped forward and, before any of the werewolves could object, and carefully took him up into his arms. In a flash he was gone, running. I got to my feet swiftly before following.

Forks emergency room is never busy, well hardly ever. That day though, it was a whirl of activity as nurses and doctors (myself included) squished ourselves around a single gurney, trying to save a young werewolf's life. We rushed him to painstaking hours later, I emerged blood stained gloves and blood-smattered smock. I headed straight for the waiting room where his pack members were waiting, and where Edward was waiting.I was surprised to find Charlie there as well. He immediately came over, giving Edward the chance to slip by."Jacob's going to be okay, right? I rushed over as soon as Billy called," he seemed both worried and upset at the same time. "I just can't believe that Bella would ever do something like this; it's just not like her. Jacob's her best friend, I don't know why she'd ever hurt him like that."I held up my hand, "Jacob will be just fine. I'll have him moved to my home once he's in a more stable condition." I cast my eyes to the werewolves who were about to fight that decision, "His body will need time to repair; and we'll have to make sure that all the fluid is out of his lungs before he can go home. Overall, I think he will be well in a few weeks, maybe a little over a month."I said this last part so that Charlie wouldn't question the time frame. I knew that Jacob would most likely be up and in perfect working order before then, but I didn't want to raise suspicion. And there was the little matter of how we were going to deal with the consequences of what had happened on that day. I didn't think that Bella would be accepted by the werewolves anymore, and would unlikely be joining our family any time soon. The Quilette would press for charges against Bella; perhaps not the hardest charges, but enough for her to learn her around here were going to change significantly.

.:-o-:. EDWARD .:-o-:.

I hadn't stuck around to hear what Carlisle had to say; I already knew. Some unknown part of me was still in control of my body; and it wasn't about to let rational thought take over just yet. Besides, I didn't need anyone to show me where Jacob was; I could smell him from the lobby. Not even the scent coming off of Carlisle couldn't confuse me. I just my heart could still beat, it would've been pounding from all the adrenalin pumping through my veins. But that was only if I had still been alive; if I had been human. Instead, I was just following the painful tug that was emanating from where my heart the smell of hospitals burn in my nostrils; they're just too clean. They smell of chemicals and death. It was the first time that I didn't notice these; I was too focused on was in a small private room in the ICU. An IV trickled medication into his arm, while a heart monitor's steady beeping filled the silence. Quietly, I approached the bed, noticing how he had a tube down his throat, but was hooked up to another machine to help him breathe.I pulled up one of those hospital chairs, taking a seat in it at his bedside. Slowly, ever so slowly, I reached and gently brushed my dead cold fingers across the back of his feeling was like electricity had just shot through me. For a brief moment, I thought I felt my heart beat. But then the feeling was gone the moment the contact stopped. Curious, and perhaps to offer some comfort, I reached out again; this time taking his hot, nearly scalding hand in both of my frozen was startling to say the least. For the first time in nearly a hundred years, I felt alive. With Bella I had felt human; with Jacob, I felt alive. It felt so strange, and yet it also felt so right; like this was completely how we were supposed to be. That our fates were so entangled with each other that only the other one could make the other feel alive; truly alive.I'd never had any faith in fate; but perhaps because of that, I would have never met him. I was fate's tool; just like everyone else. Just like , I couldn't quite find myself able to feel guilty about abandoning Bella like that. The woman who I claimed to love more then anything; the woman who I had been willing to allow myself to die because I couldn't 'live' without here. Now though... I just couldn't bring myself to feel that way. I only felt guilt at being unable to protect it was that which I felt as I sat at his side waiting for him to come come back to hands tightened only a little as I sensed several werewolves coming to check on him. I stood up and leaned forward. Gently, I pressed a single kiss to his temple; murmuring, "You had better get well soon you silly puppy.".:-o-:. FIN.:-o-:.


End file.
